Judgmentalism: Not Just the Right's Problem

The polarization in the West leaves me astounded.

I am amazed at the level of polarization and the way we compartmentalize people into different and neatly-defined groups.

An interesting and telling example of this are the way radio stations are organized in the U.S. versus in my home country, Nicaragua.

I grew up listening to a lot of music on the radio while I was living in Nicaragua. My favorite radio station had a good and interesting mix of pop, rock, electronic, and even disco music.

Growing up with this eclectic mix helped me appreciate many different musical genres, and it developed in me a taste of music that was quite varied.

Guns n' Roses played alongside amicably with Savage Garden, and nobody seemed to complain.

When I arrived to the United States, I was hoping to find a similar radio station. I was very frustrated at what I found.

If I wanted rock music I needed to tune in to the local rock station. If I wanted pop music, I needed to tune in to the local Top-40 station. If I wanted disco...you get the point.

And then, I saw how people ridiculed other people's taste of music. Rock music lovers were disgusted at the seeming superficiality and recycled lyrics of pop music. Pop music lovers were disturbed at the apparent masochistic and emo-styled music of rockers.

One group thought the other deficient in one way or the other.

This polarization leaves such obvious blind spots in the way we interact we each other (or for that matter, the way we DON'T interact with each other) that it seems magical how blissfully unaware we are of their existence.

One of the ways we classify people is through their political and ideological world views. We are either part of the Left, or part of the Right. We are either Democrats or Republicans. We are either wishy-washy, everything-goes, bleeding-heart liberals, or we are bigoted, close-minded and judgmental conservatives.

But are we really?

We are All Guilty of Being Judgmental
If we buy into this polarized mentality, then we can't escape being judgmental. Judgmentalism is as directly connected to our polarizing world view as breathing is to oxygen.

Trying not to be judgmental while holding tightly to our exclusive identity is like trying to lose weight on a diet of potato chips. We have to choose one or the other.

Liberals fancy themselves open-minded individuals. They seem to pride themselves on how inclusive and accepting they are. And to a certain extent it's true.

But then I hear them tearing apart people who disagree with them on many issues, with an endless list of ad-hominems, the most famous one being "judgmental".

If you don't see the irony here then I don't know how else to show it to you.

When liberals complain about the conservative's world view, are they not exercising their judgment, and by definition, are they not being judgmental?

When some liberal Christians, for example, make fun and minimize the creedal orthodoxy of some Christians, are they not being judgmental as well?

How many times have I heard comments like, "You still believe in all those fairy tales? I thought you were smarter than that."

I'm not saying that disagreeing with someone or a group of people makes you judgmental, but if you are unwilling to commune with people you disagree with, then it doesn't matter if you are liberal or conservative: you are still judgmental.

Being non-judgmental is much more than simply being accepting of some issues, a niche group of people, or a relevant cause.

It requires deep and hard work, where consistent and perennial observance of one's assumptions and opinions are being kept.

You are not being non-judgmental if you embrace your niche of people and reject and ostracize those whose ideas are different than yours.

This reminds me of what Jesus says about loving your enemies, for if you only love people who love you, what good are you really doing?

To my liberal friends: are you communing with people who disagree with you, who have different political ideas than yours, or are you criticizing their apparent close-mindedness to issues that are dear to you?

Are you keeping communication lines open, listening attentively to their stories, to the reasons they formed the ideas they now hold to,  and even after all is said and done, embracing them just as they are?

Or are you "loving" them from a distance, grimacing at the sight of them?

Being "open" and "accepting" is much more than just holding a required list of progressive agendas. It requires the hard work of loving your enemies.

Damaging the Environment: At What Point Does it Become a Sin?

For the last couple of weeks my mind has been occupied with the issue of Environmental Justice.

Given the release of Pope Francis' encyclical on the environment titled Laudato Si, I'd like to contribute my two cents on this very timely and important issue.

Societal Sin Vs. Individual Sin
As a community organizer I am trained to see societal issues as systemic issues, and much of our labor is focused on changing unjust systems that, we believe, are oppressing individuals.

Under this frame of thought, Environmental Justice can be seen as a systemic issue, and the way to fix the issue would require a change of the systems, the way we day-to-day business.

Under this frame of thought, personal responsibility can at best be recognized as a secondary issue, or at worst be completely disregarded and ignored.

Indeed, some would claim that a call for personal responsibility, in the context of Environmental Justice, is nothing more than a distraction, as our personal contributions (both positive and negative) to the environment pale in comparison to the gargantuan contributions of juggernaut corporations.

This is the dilemma I find myself in: How much personal responsibility do I own in damaging the environment? At what point does it become a sin for me to continue damaging the environment? Does the fact that my personal contribution to the environment is so minimal, compared to our collective carbon addicted systems, mean I'm off the hook?

200 Years from Now, We Will Look Back in Horror to What We Did to the Environment
I believe that 200 years from now we will look back in horror to what we did to the environment in the same way we (hopefully) look back in horror to issues like slavery.

200 years from now, questions will be asked of us, questions like "What were you guys thinking?!" and "How could you be so blind to the consequences of your actions?" and "Why did you wait so long to decide that enough was enough?"

We will look back and question our apparent complacency to systems of unsustainable carbon consumption. We will look back and see that we did a lot of talking, and yes, maybe participated in some actions and protests to change the system, but overall we will be horrified at the irony that we still drove our SUVs or flew in a plane to our environmental justice rallies.

We will look back and marvel at our hypocrisy, for we still drove to our grocery stores, we still bought cars, and we felt good about ourselves for owning a hybrid.

We will look back and realize that more radical action was needed.

As a Christian, what is required of me as I maneuver the two horns of seeking systemic change and personal responsibility? In this context, what does God require of me?

Be the Message: Avoiding a False Dichotomy
I have reached the conclusion that this is a false dichotomy. Seeking systemic justice should not be used as a way out of personal responsibility.

Yes, big corporations and other systems contribute more to damaging the environment.

Yes, even if I and other idividual reduced our carbon footprints it would not be enough to offset the tremendous damage that powerful systems are making to the environment.

But all of this doesn't take away the fact that these systems depend on our active participation to survive and thrive.

I think the solution has to be twofold: we have to embody the message we are proclaiming. We have to live lives that perpetually protest and speak truth to power. We must make changes that may look too radical, and perhaps too inconvenient. And we must do all of these things at the same time that we demand systemic changes.

Would you have trusted, 200 years ago, a self-proclaimed abolitionist who owned slaves?

How is this world to believe us, and how can we dare speak truth to power, unless our lives reflect the change that we demand?

If we work purposefully to not only reduce our own consumption, but to make radical changes in how we contribute negatively to the environment, then our lives will be a much powerful prophetic witness against the powers that be.

Our demands for change will have not only the power of our voices, but will carry the feared power of our character and integrity.

We should make these changes not because our personal choices alone will solve the issue, but because the changes themselves will serve as a prophetic witness to the world around us.

We have to be the message before we proclaim it.

Note: I was planning this post before the horrific events in Charleston, SC. I am grieving this terrorist act along with the nation, but don't have the words to speak to it at this moment. If you'd like to revisit my personal thoughts on racism in this country click here.

American Arrogance & Racism

I have been thinking on the role arrogance has on racism, and how much more connected they might be than it is currently acknowledged.

It seems to me that there is no other period in history where human arrogance reached its height than in the enlightenment period. This, mixed in with a healthy dose of Epicureanism, where the gods, or God, did not interfere with human affairs, turned the scale over to the over-reliance of human achievement, autonomy and power, governed by all powerful Reason, which, in the end made us the center of the universe.

Armed with Reason and autonomy, new constitutions arose, new ways of doing government saw the light of day. Modern day civilization was born. This peculiar civilization, however, was mostly European.

Those who adhered to this sort of mentality and worldview were view as "civilized". Missionaries bought into this mentality and included in their preaching of the gospel a good measure of "civilizing savages". That our civilized culture was superior was unquestioned.

And so, white Europeans were civilized, and therefore better, and the rest were "savages" with their only hope of redemption being civilized with western ideologies.

Western civilization was King, the god of the new age.

This disgusting arrogance only added more fuel to the fire of racism, where people who did not fully adhere to our enlightenment worldview were viewed as savages, and therefore, inferior.

Native-Americans, Africans, and those less "civilized" nations, were deemed as less than humans.

If this arrogance is indeed connected to racism, then part of our solution to racism has to deal with humility.

We still carry this arrogance, especially in the United States. Much has been said about our arrogance and sense of entitlement that I don't need to prove the point here.

How many times, with patriotic spirits, have I heard people proclaim "this is the greatest country of the world!"

How many times have I heard presidents proclaim the U.S. as the beacon of hope to the rest of the world, with the greatest insert virtue here "the world has ever seen".

This is nothing short than bullying patriotism, and it causes more harm than good. This is false love of country, for true love "does not boast..." (1st Corinthian 13:4).

Anti-racism without humility is like trying to be a democratic leader with a heart full of dictatorship dreams. A shift of worldview, away from the arrogance of western civilization, needs to happen for the fertile ground of anti-racism to fully materialize.

Maybe what we need, to address the poisonous state of racism in this nation, is to first deal with our arrogance, repent from it, and seek humility before God. Maybe, with this new-found humility, we can start seeing the other as they are: human beings made in the image of God.

The Empire of the Church

"I love your Christ, but I dislike your Christianity"

This quote, usually attributed to Mahatma Ghandi, captures what is perhaps the biggest problem plaguing Christianity.

Ask any outsider of the faith what's the first thing that comes to mind when they think of Christians and they would be quick to tell you: homophobic, hypocrites, bigots, judgmental, self-righteous, anti-women, etc...

Might as well be describing a Pharisee!

Ask them what they think about Jesus, and you most likely get different answers.

How Did We Get Here?
I love reading about early Christians and the radicality that literally changed the world around them. Their upside down ways went in complete contradiction with the powers that be, and in their fight against these powers there was no other weapon or guns used against them, other than sacrificial love.

Early Christians were radical and puzzling to the outside world. Their declaration that "Jesus is Lord" went in direct contradiction with the world's declaration that "Caesar is Lord".

And then...Christianity became an Empire.

I won't go into much detail of how this came to be, but suffice it to say that Christianity became so intertwined with the Roman Empire that to be a Christian was to be tantamount to being part of the Empire.

This unlikely marriage brought about the institutionalization of Christianity, and becoming Christian became part of living in the Empire, and not necessarily living in Christ.

As all Empires, this Christian Empire was and still is more preoccupied with the care of itself rather than the care of its people.

We still see this in Christianity. I can give 2 examples of my own church, the Roman Catholic Church.

One is the fact that we have closed communion. If you are not part of the institution of the Roman Catholic Church, you are not allowed to partake of the Body and Blood of Christ.

Do you believe in Jesus? Well, that's awesome, but it is not enough to bring us to our table. Wait, you even believe in the Real Presence in the Eucharist? Oh man, I wish you can come and partake with me, but sorry. Wait?! You even believe in Transubstantiation?! You should come to RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes, and maybe in a year, you can finally take communion with us!

The example given above goes to show, that even in the extreme case that a believer were in complete agreement with what the Roman Catholic Church teaches on the Eucharist, if he or she is not a member of the institution of the Roman Catholic Church, then he or she is not welcomed to partake of the Eucharist.

It is obvious then, that membership in the institution is more important than being part of the body of Christ. If you can't see how UnChrist like this is, then I don't know what else is!

The other is some letters of Bishops and Cardinals that shows how the Roman Catholic Church dealt with the sexual abuse scandal that plagues the Church. These dealings, and the constant moving of accused clergy to different churches, show how the Church was more preoccupied with taking care of itself instead of the people they pledge to serve.

All institutions of Empire seek their self-protection first, even at the expense of the flock,

They remind of the hired hand that Jesus mentions in John 10, and how they run away when the wolf comes and scatters and devours the sheep! They offer the sheep as sacrifice to save themselves and the institution, instead of imitating the Good Shepperd who lays down their lives for the sheep.

If you can't see how UnChrist like this is, then I don't know what else is.

The Answer? Jesus
When I read the Gospels, I cannot help but being filled with love for Jesus. He is just amazing, beautiful and welcoming.

I am not afraid of Him. Something about Him attracts me to the core. There is no one else that has shown me the face of God as faithfully as He has. In Him I see the Father, and when I behold His face, I behold the face of the Father.

He is beyond all else that is. Beyond all institutions, and all who desire can partake of His Flesh and Blood.

Institutions can burn people. They can scare people away from Him.

Here is the Good News: Christ is not the institutions. Sure, He can use the institutions, but then again He can use anyone!

To know Him is to love Him, for He is Love Incarnated. God came and became man. As crazy as that sounds, I believe it really happened!

God came and became one of us, took on our weak flesh and walked the earth. He moved in into our neighborhood. When He saw us, He decided to hang out not with the rich and powerful, but He hanged out with the poor and the oppressed. The marginalized and rejected.

He taught us. He chose us how to live and love others. Even to bless and pray for our persecutors!

And then we killed Him. He was too much for us. We wanted a powerful show of God's mighty power, and our addiction to power and violence demanded Him to smite our enemies. He refused, and we killed Him.

Our sinful violence killed Him. And as we pierced His side, He forgave us! We don't know what we are doing, He told us. Indeed, we didn't. And the blood, His beautiful blood, as it fell on our hands, instead of imputing guilt, it forgave us and redeemed us. Crazy, I know!

The day God died, darkness filled the sky. Our Evil won. We got our way.

3 days later, while the dawn was slowly birthing its light over a cold night, death got tired of holding Him. We tried to kill life but death ran away from Him, like darkness runs away from light!

And He rose. He really did! Not metaphorically, no. He bodily rose from the grave! We could even touch His scars, the living memories of His suffering. The pain that we caused Him left a mark in Him, and He came back not kill us in revenge, but instead to breathe new life in us! He told us "Peace be with you, receive the Holy Spirit". And as He breathed a second creation breath in us, we were born again.

This is the Gospel, the faith we have inherited. Christ has died, Christ is Risen. Christ will come again.

And this is the Christ that we are called to be as well. As many of us know, "Christians" means "little Christs". We are called to be Christ to the world. What we are at this moment is some adulterous union of Christianity with Phariseeism.

Institutions are not inherently evil, and to a certain extent necessary. We need the institutional church because we need a framework and system so that our handing over of the faith can continue once we are gone.

We need the Institutional church, yes, but this church must be submissive to the Church, the body of Christ, because the institutional church was created for the Body, and not the Body for the church.

Belonging to the Body comes first, the IC (Institutional Church) comes to the service of the Body.

I believe this is what Paul meant in 1 Corinthians 1:12, when the church in Corinth used to say "I follow Apollo" or "I follow Paul". Then Paul answers "Has Christ been divided?...Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?"

We need a new vision of the IC, one where the marriage with Empire is dissolved. We need one that doesn't require uncompromising devotion to the IC but to the Body, who is us and Christ Himself.

For we are baptized in the name of Christ, and not in the name of the Catholic Church, Presbyterianism, Martin Luther or non-denominational Protentatism.

Why I Believe Liberal Christianity is Doomed

2 Thessalonians 2:15 ESV “So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter”

To put it bluntly, I believe Liberal Christianity is doomed.

Many have claimed rather infamously that the future of Christianity is Liberal Christianity. Looking purely at satitistics, it is hard to see how. It is a very well known fact that Christian denominations that have adopted liberal stances, with a few notable exceptions, have experienced a dramatic, free fall drop in church membership.

Now, this is not to say that church membership alone is a great indicator of the health of a Christian community, but, at the same time, without members there is no community, and if things continue to go as they are now, many Christian denominations, especially the mainlines, will cease to exist in this century.

Look at it from any perspective you want, memberless communities, and communities who fail to attract new members to their communities, are hardly the “future” of Christian communities.

Healthy Christ-like Communities Must Be Attractive

Reading the gospels, it is hard to deny that Jesus had some sort of attraction. We see in the gospels, especially in the gospel of Mark, that crowds followed Jesus wherever he went.

We can be cynical all we want and say that was because Jesus performed miracles, fed the crowds, and because the crowd all expected their military liberation from oppression from Him, and while all of this is probably true, I do believe there was something beyond that that attracted people to Him.

We shouldn't ignore how people were attracted to His teaching and the way He taught with “authority” unlike the Pharisees and the Scribes. We must not ignore how his character of compassion and attention to the poor were also things that attracted crowds, especially the poor and the oppressed.

I say with trepidation what I'm about to say, and I know it will sound harsh, but I feel it's true to my limited experience: whenever I go to a “liberal” congregation, it is usually not filled with the poor or the oppressed, but with people with power and privilege talking about, well, power and privilege.

That alone tells me there is something seriously wrong with these congregations.

What's more, the church, who is the bride of Christ, should be attractive! This attractiveness is described in revelation, where the church is a “spotless” bride, one who has been washed by the blood of the lamb.

Also, Jesus describes us as “light of the world”. One charateristic of “light” is its attractiveness.

If your congregation is not attractive, then a question that should be asked is “is that congregation Christ-like?

I'm not a Liberal. I am a Progressive

That might be surprising to some of you who know me and know what I stand for.

Some people might confuse and use the words Liberal and Progressive intercheangebly, as if they were the same thing. Some, filled with cynicism, may say that Progressive is just a new word for Liberal, a new marketing spin to clear a bad name.

I do believe there is a substantial difference between the two, and while I think that there is no future for Liberal Christianity, I do believe there is a future for Progressive Christianity.

Liberal, by definition is: open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values.

Using this definition, it is hard not to see why Liberalism is not compatible with Christianity. A central tenet of Christianity is the “passing down” of teaching from the Apostles, and the calling to “stand firm” on those teaching.

This “passing down” and receiving is just another way of saying “tradition”. The greek used for tradition in Tessalonians 2:15 can be translated not only as “tradition”, but also as the passing down or receiving a message.

As Christians, we are pleaded to pass down faithfully, to the next generation, what we have received. This goes in contradiction with the Liberal value of being “willing to discard tradition”.

This is evident in many Liberal congregations that I have been, where many people in authorities and responsible to pass down and keep the faith (like Bishops) are willing to discard, reinvent and innovate on many Christian traditions.

Jesus didn't really rise from the dead, but this is a myth that offers the hope of new life and new beginnings in our everyday life.

The Trinity is really just an ancient understanding of God, and we need not see God in that way.

Jesus is really not “Divine” but had the “divine” in Him.

Jesus didn't really die sacrificially for our sins, and His death on the cross has no atonement power, but He was simply killed by the system to give us a new model of non-violence to fight the system.

There are many other examples of how Liberal Christians are willing to discard traditions that have long been held universally by all Christians, but these suffice.

Progressive Christianity, on the other hand, is one preocuppied with the poor, stands alongside them, and advocates for their needs.

Progressive Christianity is involved in social justice, but should do so not just in solidarity with the poor, but joins the poor in their struggles and fights the system alongside them.

Progressive Christianity is not a willingness to discard traditions, but instead to stand firm in the tradition of Jesus to do His ministry with the poor. Jesus didn't come to serve the poor from a suburban, privileged place in Palestine. He came from Nazareth (what good can come from Nazareth?) had no place to lay His head. 

He ate and lived with the poor. He didn't serve the poor from a distance and didn't find refuge in a comfortable place of privilege after a long day of ministry with them. Rather, He “emptied Himself and took the form of a slave” and served alongside them.

Progressive Christians should not only talk about serving the poor, and about power and privilege, and fighting the system, but should talk about ways of emptying themselves of their privilege and power, and serve the poor in proximity, not from a place of privilege.

I believe Christianity has become a religion of privilege, of empire and of power. Liberal Christianity, despite all the talks to the contrary, it is still a manifestation of this kind of religion.

I want to see, instead, a Christianity that is Christ-like, willing to live and serve with the poor, willing to give away all their riches in service to the poor, willing to advocate and fight the system with all who are opressed.

I want to see a Christianity that empties itself and takes the form of a slave. When Christianity does this, then it will be truly Christ-like. Its light will attract all the nations, and the name of Jesus Christ will be glorified. Amen.

Integrity: What It is and Why It is Important

I've been thinking about integrity for a little over a year now, and I have wanted to write a post on integrity for the longest time.

After thinking so much about integrity, I believe this is one of the most important virtues (after humility) that a Christian must practice. Without it we are not trustworthy, we are wishy washy individuals who lack a serious and an indispensable character trait: believability.

After all, if we are not trustworthy and believable, how can we give witness of Christ to the world? Lacking integrity can damage whatever witness we give, and our proclamation of the risen Christ is just as equal as our other proclamations: unbelievable, and for the wrong reasons!

So What Exactly is Integrity?
It is hard to answer this question simply. Integrity is having your inner being (ideas, ideals, thoughts, values, etc...) integral or compatible with your outer being (behavior, words, actions etc...).

A simple way of answering this question is simply this: do whatever you say you will do!

Simple right?

This is perhaps one of the most difficult things we can do perfectly. In fact, this is pretty much impossible to do!

The only being who is perfect in integrity is (you guessed it!) God! After all, He can and will do whatever He sets out to do, and His plans will not be thwarted.

Us? Well, to practice integrity with perfection we would need to know with perfection everything that will happen that can become an obstacle to whatever we set out to do, and the assurance of our capacity to overcome such obstacles.

But before I go all Aristotle on y'all, it is important to note that there is always room to grow in our integrity!

Jesus Kills a Fig Tree!
The passage where Jesus curses a fig tree, found in Mathew and Mark, has always puzzled me. It seemed to me that Jesus was having a bad day. He was "hangry" and cursed a fig tree for only having leaves and not figs, despite the fact that it wasn't fig season.

I mean, geez, we all get a bit unreasonable when we are hungry. I know I am no saint here. But cursing a fig tree seems a little too much.

Of course, Jesus can be an enigma in this passage, but I agree with most Scholars that there is something deeper going on here.

The fig tree was cursed not because it had no fruits, but because by its leaves, it had the pretension to have fruits! In other words, the tree lacked integrity. It showed from the outside that it was a fruitful tree, but when investigated closely for its fruits, well, it had none.

Hypocrisy is just a symptom of lacking integrity. Moral of the story: Jesus doesn't like it when we are hypocrites.

Sometimes we say we will do things we don't really mean to do. We say it for many reasons: to save face, to not offend (yeah, actually, I really don't want to go to your birthday party), or to get someone off our back ( the check is in the mail!)

Sometimes we appear to be better than we actually are. We clean up our houses just before guests arrive to pretend that this is how clean we are. We wear our best clothes to impress. We do our best on the first month of our new job.

I am guilty of all those examples.

The Road to Integrity: Be Who You Are and Do What You Say You Will Do!
Do you suck at dancing? Then dance away horribly! Do you actually hate wine? Then stick to beer! Be unapologetic in your likes and honest in what you suck at!

I know. We want to impress and show our best sides. It is hard to suppress this want. And while I am not advocating that you go out and tell your darkest secrets to a horrified audience, if the opportunity comes between impressing and being honest, be honest.

As you do this you will be amazed at how many people accept you and like you, and even respect you for doing this. And the best part? Those who stick around will like you for the right reasons!

Also, do whatever you say you will do, big or small. You don't feel like doing it now? Too bad! You shouldn't have said you would!

This is perhaps the most difficult part of growing in integrity, but this radical practice of following up on all the things you say, big or small, will have 3 effects: you will become wiser, you will know yourself better, you will become trustworthy.

It will make you wiser because you will realize that you cannot do half the things you say you will! This will restrain our mouths in the future, makes us wiser and more choosy in what we say yes and no to.

It will help you know yourself since you will know what things you really can do, and what things you really cannot do. You will also know what comes easy to you, and what is an area of growth.

It will make you more trustworthy because your word would carry power, and people will trust that if you say you will do something, then you will make it happen, one way or the other. They may say about you "he or she doesn't say yes to everything, but what he or she say yes to, it will happen".

Think about the huge repercussions of this! How many people in the world are like this? Not many. And since people with this strong integrity are so rare, whenever someone finds someone like this they are hugely valued!

Now, we shouldn't practice integrity because it would make us more valued, or for fame or success. Let's pursue integrity for integrity's sake. Let us practice integrity because it helps others trust our witness of faith, and because in doing so, we are imitating Christ, whose promises never fail.

What to Do When You Feel Like a Failure?

As I'm starting to write this blog, I am aware of the sulkish or self-pity-poor-me feelings it might elicit in some readers. While sulking and throwing childish tantrums of self pity are certainly not recommended, the fact remains that from time to time, we all have felt like failures.

To be human is to fail. It is no wonder that we feel like failures from time to time!

So instead of feeling guilty and immature about this, I think the healthier response is to ask the question, "what to do when you feel like a failure?"

Recent events in my life and ministry left me feeling like a failure. I have been wrestling with the question of my vocation, my gifts, and how to better utilize them. All this wrestling has left in me a bitter aftertaste, a feeling of being a misfit, a feeling of failure.

In the midst of this grieving confusion, my only peace comes with God. He is the only one I can turn to in these times, the only one where I feel comfortable being completely open and vulnerable, and still have not a single part of me rejected, but accepted and loved. I have felt my calling and my gifts reaffirmed.

So What Can We do When We feel Like This?
I believe there are two things we can do whenever we feel like failures.

The first is to turn to God and be as open and vulnerable as you can be. Cry out to Him. Share every single one of your feelings, however unholy they may seem. Confess all your failings and feelings of unworthiness. After you empty yourself in this way, don't be surprised if you find grace, love and acceptance.

We know this, but experiencing radical acceptance and love by the most Perfect, Holy of holies is nothing short of transformative. You find much more than just acceptance however. You find your identity. And with identity comes confidence.

When you are able to find your confidence in Him then, what else can shake you? Accomplishments come and go. They are praised today and forgotten tomorrow. Your identity with Christ is eternal and unshakable, and nothing can or will separate you from His love.

When one is in Christ, failure is not even in the equation.

The second is to shift your attention from accomplishments to faithfulness. In our western society, productivity and goals are king and queen. We carry accomplishments after our names. We are so and so followed by "PhD" or Doctor or Rev. whatever. When we are asked who we are we respond with a job title.

We are writers. We are authors. We are painters. We are ministers. We are organizers. We are directors. We are leaders. We are janitors. We are workers. We are students. Whatever it is, our accomplishments are attached to our names.

It is not surprising that we feel like failures in moments when we lack accomplishments!

What I am trying to focus during this time of my life is in being faithful in the little things. When I'm focused on the big picture goal of accomplishing great things for God my attention is diverted from the small things He has trusted me with.

The tiniest of things, the day to day life things, these are ignored because they seem insignificant when you look at the big picture. Great paintings, however, are not painted in one, huge, single and masterful brushstroke. They are accompanied by tiny, and sometimes invisible little strokes of the brush.

One of my favorite quotes from Mother Theresa is her assertion that "God calls us not to be successful but to be faithful"

Whenever we feel like failures, pay attention to whatever God has entrusted you right now, however insignificant, however small.

Focus on that, and do it with great love. Do it with love not because you love it. Do it with love because it is what God has entrusted you with.

Here lies the secret of holiness: be faithful in the small things God has entrusted you with. Every action is a calling. Every small act an offering. Do the small things with great love, and the rest will follow.