What to Do When You Feel Like a Failure?

As I'm starting to write this blog, I am aware of the sulkish or self-pity-poor-me feelings it might elicit in some readers. While sulking and throwing childish tantrums of self pity are certainly not recommended, the fact remains that from time to time, we all have felt like failures.

To be human is to fail. It is no wonder that we feel like failures from time to time!

So instead of feeling guilty and immature about this, I think the healthier response is to ask the question, "what to do when you feel like a failure?"

Recent events in my life and ministry left me feeling like a failure. I have been wrestling with the question of my vocation, my gifts, and how to better utilize them. All this wrestling has left in me a bitter aftertaste, a feeling of being a misfit, a feeling of failure.

In the midst of this grieving confusion, my only peace comes with God. He is the only one I can turn to in these times, the only one where I feel comfortable being completely open and vulnerable, and still have not a single part of me rejected, but accepted and loved. I have felt my calling and my gifts reaffirmed.

So What Can We do When We feel Like This?
I believe there are two things we can do whenever we feel like failures.

The first is to turn to God and be as open and vulnerable as you can be. Cry out to Him. Share every single one of your feelings, however unholy they may seem. Confess all your failings and feelings of unworthiness. After you empty yourself in this way, don't be surprised if you find grace, love and acceptance.

We know this, but experiencing radical acceptance and love by the most Perfect, Holy of holies is nothing short of transformative. You find much more than just acceptance however. You find your identity. And with identity comes confidence.

When you are able to find your confidence in Him then, what else can shake you? Accomplishments come and go. They are praised today and forgotten tomorrow. Your identity with Christ is eternal and unshakable, and nothing can or will separate you from His love.

When one is in Christ, failure is not even in the equation.

The second is to shift your attention from accomplishments to faithfulness. In our western society, productivity and goals are king and queen. We carry accomplishments after our names. We are so and so followed by "PhD" or Doctor or Rev. whatever. When we are asked who we are we respond with a job title.

We are writers. We are authors. We are painters. We are ministers. We are organizers. We are directors. We are leaders. We are janitors. We are workers. We are students. Whatever it is, our accomplishments are attached to our names.

It is not surprising that we feel like failures in moments when we lack accomplishments!

What I am trying to focus during this time of my life is in being faithful in the little things. When I'm focused on the big picture goal of accomplishing great things for God my attention is diverted from the small things He has trusted me with.

The tiniest of things, the day to day life things, these are ignored because they seem insignificant when you look at the big picture. Great paintings, however, are not painted in one, huge, single and masterful brushstroke. They are accompanied by tiny, and sometimes invisible little strokes of the brush.

One of my favorite quotes from Mother Theresa is her assertion that "God calls us not to be successful but to be faithful"

Whenever we feel like failures, pay attention to whatever God has entrusted you right now, however insignificant, however small.

Focus on that, and do it with great love. Do it with love not because you love it. Do it with love because it is what God has entrusted you with.

Here lies the secret of holiness: be faithful in the small things God has entrusted you with. Every action is a calling. Every small act an offering. Do the small things with great love, and the rest will follow.