This is part 4 of the 7 heavenly virtues series. To start on part 1, click here.
Western culture often struck me as a "straight up" culture. Things were sometimes told directly, with no beating around the bush, so to speak.
This was presented as a good thing. Many times, however, it felt harsh to me. In encounters where things were spoken to me "straight up," I often felt hurt. This happened so many times that I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me.
Maybe I'm just too sensitive, I thought.
While it is true that I am sensitive person, and that being direct with people is also a good thing, I do think that in our culture we have forgotten the virtue of kindness and juxtaposed it with truth-telling.
The Virtue of Kindness
What is kindness? Let us first define by what it is not. Kindness is not just being "nice" to each other. Kindness has little to do with being nice.
Nice is easy and even cowardly. Kindness is courageous and self-giving. Kindness exposes your being in an unselfish manner. Nice hides your being and real feelings and protects it with a mask.
Kindness is benevolence towards the other; it is loyalty, compassion, empathy, and trust.
Kindness is especially essential when it comes to truth-telling. Truth-telling without kindness can be misused to hurt the other. When we get angry at someone, and we feel compelled to make it clear to them, truth can take the form of a weapon used in vengeance against the offender.
Truth-telling combined with being "nice" compromises the truth. We may think that being nice is a way to protect others from hurt, but most often we are protecting ourselves from uncomfortable situations. If we dare to speak truth into somebody's life, we compromise the truth in order to make it less hurtful to us.
Truth-telling with kindness, however, seeks the well-being of the other. It takes into consideration the context. If we discern that the truth will not be heard then in kindness we abstain from telling it. With kindness we seek ways to tell the truth that are selfless and filled with compassion.
Truth is better received when it is sweetened by compassion and mercy.
Kindness & The Holy Spirit
The virtue of kindness is connected with goodness and kindness, the fourth and fifth fruits of the Holy Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5.
Goodness, as a fruit of the Holy Spirit, is good that is integral to our very being. It is concerned more with kindness than it is with righteousness. It is good in a self-giving way, not in a self-righteous way.
Kindness as a fruit of the Holy Spirit denotes more than just moral goodness and integrity, or just being kind. The word chrestotes, which we usually translate as kindness, can also be translated as 'usefulness.'
A person full of the virtue of kindness is also extremely useful. They go beyond kind words into the realm of actions for the good of others. Kindness demands selfless service of others. A useful person is also humble, willing to be pliable to the will of God and pliable in service of others.
The Virtue of Kindness for a Postmodern World
We live in a world where prophetic truth-telling is needed. We live in a world where we need to constantly speak truth to power.
In doing so, however, we must not forget the value of kindness, for it is with this virtue that the truth is most beneficial.
We can be very tempted, and even feel justified, to speak truth in an angry and hurtful way. It is true that there are moments that truth must be spoken with anger, depending on the context. The problem comes when we say the truth only when we are angry.
More often than not, the virtue of kindness should accompany and aid us whenever we speak truth, especially in situations where hurt and emotions are involved.
By telling truth with kindness we are giving witness to the power of truth as light. Light and truth are powerful enough and need no extra aid to be effective.
As prophetic witnesses against injustice, we should exercise the unaided power of light to shine away the darkness. There is no need to be forceful. Shine light and allow the light to do the rest. Nothing else is necessary.
Be kind to others, especially those opposed to your cause. By being kind you are demonstrating your concern for the other, remembering that the oppressor is no more free than the oppressed. Oppression is a prison that jails both the oppressor and the oppressed.
Practice kindness with all, even those who need some serious truth-telling.
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