One weekday morning, I was trying to read on a bus on my way to work. Public transportation can be ideal for this, but at other times, it can be inconvenient.
The bus was almost empty, so I was expecting a quiet time before work. This had lasted for a few minutes, when two students boarded the bus. One of them, a guy, was pursuing this girl who seemed uninterested in his advances.
She sat behind me (of all the empty seats!) but sat in the outer seat so not to give space for the guy to seat beside her. He, not dissuaded by her subtle dissing, sat next me so he could be in front of her.
He turns around and tries to have a conversation with her. In doing so he was shifting constantly, and for some odd reason, beating the seat rhythmically as he spoke. Our seat was shaking, and by his constant movement he kept constantly bumping into me.
I was incredibly annoyed.
I have two options, I thought, I could tell him to stop moving and bumping into me and ask him to stop beating our seat OR I could practice patience and ask God to offer me the strength to do so. I have read this advice from many saints: you can take every difficult or inconvenient situation as an opportunity to practice virtues.
And so I prayed: God, please help me to practice patience. It seemed to me, unfortunately, that God heard my prayer.
They guy kept making beats through our seat and he kept shifting constantly. I was unable to read.
Thankfully, he got off the bus a few stops after that. Two other guys, however, got on the bus at the same stop. I thought they were fighting, as one of them was screaming. He didn't seem angry, however.
I soon realized he wasn't screaming, he just spoke incredibly loud, apparently gifted by God with an integrated mic and speakers. They decided to sit behind me. I started laughing. Be careful what you pray for, I thought. Throughout the whole ride, the lively gentleman kept having peaceful shouting matches with his bewildered companion.
I was, of course, unable to read my book.
The Virtue of Patience
The virtue of patience, or longsuffering, is the ability to go through seemingly unbearable or difficult situations with a sense of harmony and peace. It is also active waiting. There may be many reasons we would be asked to wait, and by doing so with peace and harmony we are practicing patience.
Patience is also showing mercy to people we think don't deserve mercy. Mercy and patience are two sides of the same coin.
I am an incredibly impatient individual. If my computer is not working, for example, I feel very tempted to throw it out of the window, go out with a hammer, and slam it into bits and pieces. I still have my computer so it doesn't happen that often.
I hate ordering things online because I hate waiting for them to arrive. I hate not having a microwave (for health reasons) because I'd prefer to have my food heated up in a few minutes instead of waiting 20 minutes to heat in the oven.
Because of this, God has put me in many situations where He has asked me to wait. He also provides me with many opportunities, like the ones mentioned above, to help me practice the virtue of patience. When I practice listening prayer, it seems to me half the time He's asking me to wait.
Patience & The Holy Spirit
Patience is also the sixth fruit of the Holy Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5. It is only after practicing patience that we can better practice peace, joy, and ultimately, love.
Without patience we lack the solid foundation to practice peace in the middle of shifting circumstances, joy in the middle of suffering and difficulties, and love with mercy and compassion.
Patience is also connected with Peace, the seventh fruit of the Holy Spirit. Peace is not simply a lack of conflict. Peace is not lack, but an abundance of something. Peace comes from a rooted knowledge of our standing with God, and therefore, the world around us.
It is only with Peace that comes from God that we can withstand with longsuffering difficult situations with harmony, because our peace dwells from a deeper sense of our being with God, and not our being with our circumstances around us.
The Virtue of Patience for a Postmodern World
The virtue of patience, in a world where we are accustomed to our computers and internet service being fast, our food heated in a few minutes, and where instant gratification (and instant connectedness) is a sought-after feature, is a challenging virtue to practice.
First, we can practice patience by utilizing most inconvenient, uncomfortable, or difficult situations as opportunities to grow and develop. This has to be a free choice, however. I am not advocating that you feel compelled to allow people to cross your boundaries or abuse you under the name of practicing virtues.
There are circumstances, however, when it is OK to use the opportunity to practice patience by practicing mercy and momentarily giving up your right to complain. (If you are in an abusive situation, however, this is not recommended, and assertive action would be necessary and healthy.)
There are many other times, however, where there is nothing that can be done in a situation to improve it, and the practice of patience is perfect for those situations. Being stuck in traffic comes to mind as a prime example.
By making a mental shift and seeing those difficult and annoying situations as opportunity to practice patience instead of simple inconveniences, your growth will be monumental. The obstacle becomes the way.
Second, if you are involved in a cause that is dear to your heart, you can practice patience not only with the people who are actively against said cause, but also at the slow progress that some movements have.
By practicing patience, you realize that your struggle will be for the long haul, and will probably outlive you. Healthy, non-violent social change requires a cultural shift in our population, and this will undoubtedly take many years, even decades, to fully realize.
There are no easy and quick tips to social change. There are small, incremental steps that keep adding up through the years. Violence can bring fast and temporal social change, but this will inevitably breed more social disparities, divisions, and wounds.
By practicing patience, we are acknowledging that our efforts, however small, will slowly bring the social change we so desire.
In what ways do you practice patience? How can more patience help you in your life? Share in the comments below!
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