The Pain of Rejection

The pain of rejection is unavoidable.

We all must feel its merciless pangs. We all carry around a deep desire to be desired, to be wanted, to fit in. And yet, at too many points in our lives, this deep desire is not only ignored, but directly attacked.

Rejection seems to be a natural state of our lives. The opportunities for rejection abound in our world. And yet, we try to run away from rejection, like the hopeless hunter running away from the cheetah.

And we can't run away forever. Eventually rejection will catch up to us. One day or another, we will have to deal with the painful encounter between our desires to be "in" and the unforgiving reality of a rejecting world.

Where Do I Fit In?

I find myself caught in that strange, disorienting and painful intersection of rejection. I don't know how I ended up here again, after many years of trying to avoid this part of town.

I have worked on myself. I have put in the hours. I have tried to be faithful. I have tried to be useful. I have tried many desperate right turns in the hopes of avoiding this old neighborhood of rejection.

In the end, I ended up where I started. Saturated with the gnawing sensation that, maybe, I just don't fit it in anywhere.

We are not sure if you are the right fit...

How many times have you heard these words?

I heard these words a lot recently. I've heard them at my job , where I was recently transitioned out because I was not "the right fit" (no worries, I still have a job with a different organization).

I've heard it in ministry so many times, that I'm starting to believe that maybe God is not calling me to the ministry. 

One of the few times I've not heard this? When I was working in a gas station as a cashier for many years, where my most valuable gifts were mostly underutilized.

And maybe, we all go through this situation in our lives.

I feel upset at God. I feel that He's been leading me in the work that I'm doing, and yet it seems like He's leading in places where I don't seem to fit.

Or maybe I do fit conceptually, but because of poor character or some other mysterious force, I don't fit practically.

I feel lost in my discernment. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel called to something, and whenever I try to follow where I believe God is leading me, I end up in this old intersection of rejection. It feels like He is constantly leading me to a place of rejection.

Where do I fit in God?  I asked in prayer. It is hard to keep hope that maybe, there is a place for me; a place where my gifts are welcomed and cherished, a place where I'm welcomed, especially when I fall short. A place where I don't always have to bring my A game.

A place of community.

Where do I fit in God?... With me,  I hear Him say, you fit in My Kingdom.

And maybe that's all I need for now.

Have you ever felt this way, like a perpetual misfit? What do you do when you feel you've been rejected too many times? How do you deal with rejection? Please share in the comments below.