 |
| Photo by Waiting for the Word |
Is the idea of counting others more significant than ourselves offensive? I think it can be to many of us. There are certain times in my life when I found these words offensive and denigrating. After all, isn't considering ourselves not worse than anyone else part of having a healthy self-esteem?
Is God really asking us to have a poor self-esteem?
The Age of Narcissism
Many psychologists believe that narcissism is on the rise. In an age where Self is king, and when self-expression has become an ideal along with our unrestrained individualism, I wonder if these values are contributing factors to our offense at the Apostle Paul's words to the Philippians. Could it be that our culture is fighting against our attempts at humility?
Our culture encourages self-discovery, working hard for our dreams and our goals, and believing that if we put our mind to it, we can set out to do whatever and be whoever we want. "Don't let anybody tell you you can't do it!" seems to be the motto of our age.
On the surface, this seems to be something noble to say and believe. After all, many of us seem to need this kind of message, especially those who feel as if their lives don't really matter.
I do believe, however, that no matter how benevolent and innocent this narrative seems to be, if we are to follow it to its logical end, we will end up more narcissistic, more depressed, and paradoxically, with a lower self esteem.
The "You Can Do It!" Narrative; Narcissism and Depression
Why? There are many reasons for this. This narrative is leading towards more and more narcissism because the focus is on what we can do as individuals, instead of what we can do as a community. If we follow this train of thought then we should not be surprised that whatever accomplishment comes our way, we feel as if we are fully responsible for it.
But no man is an island. We are sitting on the accomplishments of others, and so to feel that we are fully responsible for our 'individual' accomplishment is not congruent with reality. An astounding student, for example, is a result of many factors. A good student needs a competent teacher. He also needs an educational system that is dedicated to his growth. He must have the help of his classmates to grow in his academic goals. Not only that, but that student is dependent on the knowledge accrued by generations of scholars before he was even born.
The student's accomplishments are also the accomplishments of the community.
Sure, the good student's application is needed for his or her accomplishments, but a more honest answer would be to admit that much more than just individual application is needed for the student's success. There is no such thing as a self-made man.
Additionally, when we are so focused on ourselves, on what we can do and become, the needs of others are by necessity secondary. This can manifest in a growing apathy towards others simply because of the mere fact that we are so busy on focusing on our own goals and ambitions.
This narrative also leads towards lower-self esteem and depression because it can set us up with unhealthy expectations. If, for whatever reason, we do not do the things we set out to do, or don't become whoever we want to be, then we are the only ones to blame. When our dreams don't come true, we are not satisfied. Satisfaction with our lives is then contingent on the fulfillment of our dreams. In a world of broken dreams, is it any surprise that depression is on the rise?
The Joy of Humility: Considering Others as More Significant
St. Francis was a very humble individual. His life was also based on considering others as more significant than himself. But that narrative didn't lead him to low self esteem and despair. Can we truly look at St. Francis and claim that he lived a depressed life? Instead, we are looking at a man full of joy.
Why is this? Doesn't considering others as more significant mean that we are to have low self esteem? Not at all!
Notice how Paul says that we are to consider others as more significant and not simply one other. We are not called to consider a particular individual as more significant than ourselves, but others in plural. This means that we are to acknowledge the needs of the community as more important than our own.
This also means that when we consider others as more significant than ourselves, we are also not getting our self-esteem from others, or even ourselves. When we reach theosis, or union with God, our being is so interconnected with God's being that no other force has any claim to who we are but God. Only in theosis can we experience liberation of our true and unique selves. We find ourselves by finding God.
A life lived out in the service of others, and not based on our own needs, and a life that is found in our union with God, instead of one enslaved to our goals and ambitions, is one that is truly full of joy. This is the abundant life of humility.
Humility is the door that open us up to God's grace. Humility is the conviction that we are never enough; that our accomplishments and our ambitions are never sufficient. Humility is the recognition that we need others, and more importantly, we need the Great Other, to become who we truly are.
No comments:
Post a Comment