Monday, April 20, 2015

Integrity: What It is and Why It is Important

I've been thinking about integrity for a little over a year now, and I have wanted to write a post on integrity for the longest time.

After thinking so much about integrity, I believe this is one of the most important virtues (after humility) that a Christian must practice. Without it we are not trustworthy, we are wishy washy individuals who lack a serious and an indispensable character trait: believability.

After all, if we are not trustworthy and believable, how can we give witness of Christ to the world? Lacking integrity can damage whatever witness we give, and our proclamation of the risen Christ is just as equal as our other proclamations: unbelievable, and for the wrong reasons!

So What Exactly is Integrity?
It is hard to answer this question simply. Integrity is having your inner being (ideas, ideals, thoughts, values, etc...) integral or compatible with your outer being (behavior, words, actions etc...).

A simple way of answering this question is simply this: do whatever you say you will do!

Simple right?

This is perhaps one of the most difficult things we can do perfectly. In fact, this is pretty much impossible to do!

The only being who is perfect in integrity is (you guessed it!) God! After all, He can and will do whatever He sets out to do, and His plans will not be thwarted.

Us? Well, to practice integrity with perfection we would need to know with perfection everything that will happen that can become an obstacle to whatever we set out to do, and the assurance of our capacity to overcome such obstacles.

But before I go all Aristotle on y'all, it is important to note that there is always room to grow in our integrity!

Jesus Kills a Fig Tree!
The passage where Jesus curses a fig tree, found in Mathew and Mark, has always puzzled me. It seemed to me that Jesus was having a bad day. He was "hangry" and cursed a fig tree for only having leaves and not figs, despite the fact that it wasn't fig season.

I mean, geez, we all get a bit unreasonable when we are hungry. I know I am no saint here. But cursing a fig tree seems a little too much.

Of course, Jesus can be an enigma in this passage, but I agree with most Scholars that there is something deeper going on here.

The fig tree was cursed not because it had no fruits, but because by its leaves, it had the pretension to have fruits! In other words, the tree lacked integrity. It showed from the outside that it was a fruitful tree, but when investigated closely for its fruits, well, it had none.

Hypocrisy is just a symptom of lacking integrity. Moral of the story: Jesus doesn't like it when we are hypocrites.

Sometimes we say we will do things we don't really mean to do. We say it for many reasons: to save face, to not offend (yeah, actually, I really don't want to go to your birthday party), or to get someone off our back ( the check is in the mail!)

Sometimes we appear to be better than we actually are. We clean up our houses just before guests arrive to pretend that this is how clean we are. We wear our best clothes to impress. We do our best on the first month of our new job.

I am guilty of all those examples.

The Road to Integrity: Be Who You Are and Do What You Say You Will Do!
Do you suck at dancing? Then dance away horribly! Do you actually hate wine? Then stick to beer! Be unapologetic in your likes and honest in what you suck at!

I know. We want to impress and show our best sides. It is hard to suppress this want. And while I am not advocating that you go out and tell your darkest secrets to a horrified audience, if the opportunity comes between impressing and being honest, be honest.

As you do this you will be amazed at how many people accept you and like you, and even respect you for doing this. And the best part? Those who stick around will like you for the right reasons!

Also, do whatever you say you will do, big or small. You don't feel like doing it now? Too bad! You shouldn't have said you would!

This is perhaps the most difficult part of growing in integrity, but this radical practice of following up on all the things you say, big or small, will have 3 effects: you will become wiser, you will know yourself better, you will become trustworthy.

It will make you wiser because you will realize that you cannot do half the things you say you will! This will restrain our mouths in the future, makes us wiser and more choosy in what we say yes and no to.

It will help you know yourself since you will know what things you really can do, and what things you really cannot do. You will also know what comes easy to you, and what is an area of growth.

It will make you more trustworthy because your word would carry power, and people will trust that if you say you will do something, then you will make it happen, one way or the other. They may say about you "he or she doesn't say yes to everything, but what he or she say yes to, it will happen".

Think about the huge repercussions of this! How many people in the world are like this? Not many. And since people with this strong integrity are so rare, whenever someone finds someone like this they are hugely valued!

Now, we shouldn't practice integrity because it would make us more valued, or for fame or success. Let's pursue integrity for integrity's sake. Let us practice integrity because it helps others trust our witness of faith, and because in doing so, we are imitating Christ, whose promises never fail.

Friday, April 10, 2015

What to Do When You Feel Like a Failure?

As I'm starting to write this blog, I am aware of the sulkish or self-pity-poor-me feelings it might elicit in some readers. While sulking and throwing childish tantrums of self pity are certainly not recommended, the fact remains that from time to time, we all have felt like failures.

To be human is to fail. It is no wonder that we feel like failures from time to time!

So instead of feeling guilty and immature about this, I think the healthier response is to ask the question, "what to do when you feel like a failure?"

Recent events in my life and ministry left me feeling like a failure. I have been wrestling with the question of my vocation, my gifts, and how to better utilize them. All this wrestling has left in me a bitter aftertaste, a feeling of being a misfit, a feeling of failure.

In the midst of this grieving confusion, my only peace comes with God. He is the only one I can turn to in these times, the only one where I feel comfortable being completely open and vulnerable, and still have not a single part of me rejected, but accepted and loved. I have felt my calling and my gifts reaffirmed.

So What Can We do When We feel Like This?
I believe there are two things we can do whenever we feel like failures.

The first is to turn to God and be as open and vulnerable as you can be. Cry out to Him. Share every single one of your feelings, however unholy they may seem. Confess all your failings and feelings of unworthiness. After you empty yourself in this way, don't be surprised if you find grace, love and acceptance.

We know this, but experiencing radical acceptance and love by the most Perfect, Holy of holies is nothing short of transformative. You find much more than just acceptance however. You find your identity. And with identity comes confidence.

When you are able to find your confidence in Him then, what else can shake you? Accomplishments come and go. They are praised today and forgotten tomorrow. Your identity with Christ is eternal and unshakable, and nothing can or will separate you from His love.

When one is in Christ, failure is not even in the equation.

The second is to shift your attention from accomplishments to faithfulness. In our western society, productivity and goals are king and queen. We carry accomplishments after our names. We are so and so followed by "PhD" or Doctor or Rev. whatever. When we are asked who we are we respond with a job title.

We are writers. We are authors. We are painters. We are ministers. We are organizers. We are directors. We are leaders. We are janitors. We are workers. We are students. Whatever it is, our accomplishments are attached to our names.

It is not surprising that we feel like failures in moments when we lack accomplishments!

What I am trying to focus during this time of my life is in being faithful in the little things. When I'm focused on the big picture goal of accomplishing great things for God my attention is diverted from the small things He has trusted me with.

The tiniest of things, the day to day life things, these are ignored because they seem insignificant when you look at the big picture. Great paintings, however, are not painted in one, huge, single and masterful brushstroke. They are accompanied by tiny, and sometimes invisible little strokes of the brush.

One of my favorite quotes from Mother Theresa is her assertion that "God calls us not to be successful but to be faithful"

Whenever we feel like failures, pay attention to whatever God has entrusted you right now, however insignificant, however small.

Focus on that, and do it with great love. Do it with love not because you love it. Do it with love because it is what God has entrusted you with.

Here lies the secret of holiness: be faithful in the small things God has entrusted you with. Every action is a calling. Every small act an offering. Do the small things with great love, and the rest will follow.

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