The 7 Virtues for The Postmodern World - Kindness!

This is part 4 of the 7 heavenly virtues series. To start on part 1, click here.

Western culture often struck me as a "straight up" culture. Things were sometimes told directly, with no beating around the bush, so to speak.

This was presented as a good thing. Many times, however, it felt harsh to me. In encounters where things were spoken to me "straight up," I often felt hurt. This happened so many times that I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive, I thought.

While it is true that I am sensitive person, and that being direct with people is also a good thing, I do think that  in our culture we have forgotten the virtue of kindness and juxtaposed it with truth-telling.

The Virtue of Kindness
What is kindness?  Let us first define by what it is not. Kindness is not just being "nice" to each other. Kindness has little to do with being nice.

Nice is easy and even cowardly. Kindness is courageous and self-giving. Kindness exposes your being in an unselfish manner. Nice hides your being and real feelings and protects it with a mask.

Kindness is benevolence towards the other; it is loyalty, compassion, empathy, and trust.

Kindness is especially essential when it comes to truth-telling. Truth-telling without kindness can be misused to hurt the other. When we get angry at someone, and we feel compelled to make it clear to them, truth can take the form of a weapon used in vengeance against the offender.

Truth-telling combined with being "nice" compromises the truth. We may think that being nice is a way to protect others from hurt, but most often we are protecting ourselves from uncomfortable situations. If we dare to speak truth into somebody's life, we compromise the truth in order to make it less hurtful to us.

Truth-telling with kindness, however, seeks the well-being of the other. It takes into consideration the context. If we discern that the truth will not be heard then in kindness we abstain from telling it. With kindness we seek ways to tell the truth that are selfless and filled with compassion.

Truth is better received when it is sweetened by compassion and mercy.

Kindness & The Holy Spirit
The virtue of kindness is connected with goodness and kindness, the fourth and fifth fruits of the Holy Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5.

Goodness, as a fruit of the Holy Spirit, is good that is integral to our very being. It is concerned more with kindness than it is with righteousness. It is good in a self-giving way, not in a self-righteous way.

Kindness as a fruit of the Holy Spirit denotes more than just moral goodness and integrity, or just being kind. The word chrestotes, which we usually translate as kindness, can also be translated as 'usefulness.'

A person full of the virtue of kindness is also extremely useful. They go beyond kind words into the realm of actions for the good of others. Kindness demands selfless service of others. A useful person is also humble, willing to be pliable to the will of God and pliable in service of others.

The Virtue of Kindness for a Postmodern World
We live in a world where prophetic truth-telling is needed. We live in a world where we need to constantly speak truth to power.

In doing so, however, we must not forget the value of kindness, for it is with this virtue that the truth is most beneficial.

We can be very tempted, and even feel justified, to speak truth in an angry and hurtful way. It is true that there are moments that truth must be spoken with anger, depending on the context. The problem comes when we say the truth only when we are angry.

More often than not, the virtue of kindness should accompany and aid us whenever we speak truth, especially in situations where hurt and emotions are involved.

By telling truth with kindness we are giving witness to the power of truth as light. Light and truth are powerful enough and need no extra aid to be effective.

As prophetic witnesses against injustice, we should exercise the unaided power of light to shine away the darkness. There is no need to be forceful. Shine light and allow the light to do the rest. Nothing else is necessary.

Be kind to others, especially those opposed to your cause. By being kind you are demonstrating your concern for the other, remembering that the oppressor is no more free than the oppressed. Oppression is a prison that jails both the oppressor and the oppressed.

Practice kindness with all, even those who need some serious truth-telling.

Integrity: What It is and Why It is Important

I've been thinking about integrity for a little over a year now, and I have wanted to write a post on integrity for the longest time.

After thinking so much about integrity, I believe this is one of the most important virtues (after humility) that a Christian must practice. Without it we are not trustworthy, we are wishy washy individuals who lack a serious and an indispensable character trait: believability.

After all, if we are not trustworthy and believable, how can we give witness of Christ to the world? Lacking integrity can damage whatever witness we give, and our proclamation of the risen Christ is just as equal as our other proclamations: unbelievable, and for the wrong reasons!

So What Exactly is Integrity?
It is hard to answer this question simply. Integrity is having your inner being (ideas, ideals, thoughts, values, etc...) integral or compatible with your outer being (behavior, words, actions etc...).

A simple way of answering this question is simply this: do whatever you say you will do!

Simple right?

This is perhaps one of the most difficult things we can do perfectly. In fact, this is pretty much impossible to do!

The only being who is perfect in integrity is (you guessed it!) God! After all, He can and will do whatever He sets out to do, and His plans will not be thwarted.

Us? Well, to practice integrity with perfection we would need to know with perfection everything that will happen that can become an obstacle to whatever we set out to do, and the assurance of our capacity to overcome such obstacles.

But before I go all Aristotle on y'all, it is important to note that there is always room to grow in our integrity!

Jesus Kills a Fig Tree!
The passage where Jesus curses a fig tree, found in Mathew and Mark, has always puzzled me. It seemed to me that Jesus was having a bad day. He was "hangry" and cursed a fig tree for only having leaves and not figs, despite the fact that it wasn't fig season.

I mean, geez, we all get a bit unreasonable when we are hungry. I know I am no saint here. But cursing a fig tree seems a little too much.

Of course, Jesus can be an enigma in this passage, but I agree with most Scholars that there is something deeper going on here.

The fig tree was cursed not because it had no fruits, but because by its leaves, it had the pretension to have fruits! In other words, the tree lacked integrity. It showed from the outside that it was a fruitful tree, but when investigated closely for its fruits, well, it had none.

Hypocrisy is just a symptom of lacking integrity. Moral of the story: Jesus doesn't like it when we are hypocrites.

Sometimes we say we will do things we don't really mean to do. We say it for many reasons: to save face, to not offend (yeah, actually, I really don't want to go to your birthday party), or to get someone off our back ( the check is in the mail!)

Sometimes we appear to be better than we actually are. We clean up our houses just before guests arrive to pretend that this is how clean we are. We wear our best clothes to impress. We do our best on the first month of our new job.

I am guilty of all those examples.

The Road to Integrity: Be Who You Are and Do What You Say You Will Do!
Do you suck at dancing? Then dance away horribly! Do you actually hate wine? Then stick to beer! Be unapologetic in your likes and honest in what you suck at!

I know. We want to impress and show our best sides. It is hard to suppress this want. And while I am not advocating that you go out and tell your darkest secrets to a horrified audience, if the opportunity comes between impressing and being honest, be honest.

As you do this you will be amazed at how many people accept you and like you, and even respect you for doing this. And the best part? Those who stick around will like you for the right reasons!

Also, do whatever you say you will do, big or small. You don't feel like doing it now? Too bad! You shouldn't have said you would!

This is perhaps the most difficult part of growing in integrity, but this radical practice of following up on all the things you say, big or small, will have 3 effects: you will become wiser, you will know yourself better, you will become trustworthy.

It will make you wiser because you will realize that you cannot do half the things you say you will! This will restrain our mouths in the future, makes us wiser and more choosy in what we say yes and no to.

It will help you know yourself since you will know what things you really can do, and what things you really cannot do. You will also know what comes easy to you, and what is an area of growth.

It will make you more trustworthy because your word would carry power, and people will trust that if you say you will do something, then you will make it happen, one way or the other. They may say about you "he or she doesn't say yes to everything, but what he or she say yes to, it will happen".

Think about the huge repercussions of this! How many people in the world are like this? Not many. And since people with this strong integrity are so rare, whenever someone finds someone like this they are hugely valued!

Now, we shouldn't practice integrity because it would make us more valued, or for fame or success. Let's pursue integrity for integrity's sake. Let us practice integrity because it helps others trust our witness of faith, and because in doing so, we are imitating Christ, whose promises never fail.